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by Melissa Foley

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May 15, 2020 By lovedalready 1 Comment

Who Am I?

The story I’m about to tell you sounds like it comes straight from a Hallmark Channel movie, but it’s true!

Have you heard of the true story of a woman named Gwenllian, who was the daughter of the Prince of Wales? She was born around 1280 and was the descendant of duel Royal bloodlines. Her father was the Prince, and her mother was the heiress of the Royal family of Albert. Unfortunately, her mother passed away during childbirth, and when she was just a few months old. England invaded the country, killing the baby’s father in the war. Gwenllian, captured in her cradle, was placed in the care of the Prior and Prioress of Sempringham at the age of just seventeen months. She would remain there as a nun until her death fifty-four years later, on June 7th, 1337. For her entire life, she had no idea that she was a princess; she did not speak her native language and had never known her native land. She didn’t even know how to pronounce her real name.

Gwenllian’s throne stolen, she was stripped of her authority and lived a life of captivity, never knowing her true identity. So can you imagine being royalty and not knowing it? Can you imagine being the daughter of a King and being held in low regard, never setting foot in your home country your whole life?

Of course, you can!

Would it have made a difference in the Gwenllian’s life to know the truth about who she was? Would it have made a difference in her heart to know where she came from, who she was, and that she was, in fact, royalty?

Oh yeah. It makes a world of difference. 

I’m not sure the first time that I asked myself, “Who am I?” I grew up in a strong Protestant household where being part of God’s family was a given. As an adult, you could ask me, “Who are you?” and I would very quickly be able to say to you, “I’m a child of God.” You could likely say the same thing. Yet, as an adult woman with a successful career and working in ministry, I found myself yearning for approval and fearing failure.

The Bible verses that kept telling me about who I was, that were meant to help me to feel secure, actually had me ending up feeling superficial. The reality was, what people said about me had more weight. Even though everything looked stable on the outside, the fact was that my day could be saved or destroyed by an email, by a look, by comparison, by rejection, or even a compliment – in a snap. So, I’ve come to realize over the last few years that I didn’t have an intimate knowledge of God’s love for me. I had it here, in my mind. I could tell you the words, but I had yet to make that experience in my, in my heart. How was I to know that God’s love wasn’t based on how I perform? How was I to know that the love that he tells me he has for me isn’t like everyone else that said that they loved me and moved on? How was I to know that?

What I realized is that I heard ABOUT God’s love for me from other people. I desired God to tell me Himself.

Has this happened to you?

I began asking him the question, “Lord, who am I? Who am I Lord? Who am Lord? Who am I?” Because to be honest with you, I thought that my past, my woundedness, my sin was me. I thought it was me. Sometimes when we get so up close to it, we can’t tell who we really are apart from our experiences. So, I waited and I waited for his answer. I’ll let you know one absolute truth that happened: He is quick to answer the question. Although we were introduced to the idea that we are God’s child, He desires to tell you personally and intimately who you are to Him, how much he loves you.

Let me give you an example. Let’s look at Scripture for a minute. We see time and again how the Lord spoke to people directly and personally about who they are. Go to the Old Testament. Abraham, you’re the father of many nations, Gideon, you are a mighty warrior, Daniel, you are highly esteemed by God, David, you are a man after God’s own heart. God’s Word is particular. In the New Testament., Peter- Rock. “Upon this rock, I will build my church.” “You are rock.” “Nathaniel, you are a true Israel light. Remember that there’s no deceit in you. Regarding Our Blessed Mother, “You are the highly favored one.”

 

You are statements

God wants to tell you very personally what’s going on with you. I wanted to show you something because I think that it might be difficult to imagine that the creator of all things would come and whisper into your ear these things. But he does and he continues to do so. It’s just a matter of us receiving what he wants to give.

Okay. I’m going to show you something.

If I were to ask you to tell me some words to describe God’s attributes, what would you say? Likely, you would say things like, He’s:

strong, merciful, humble, love, purposeful, patient, secure, wise, joyful, peaceful.

These are just a few attributes of God. We could never come close to listing out all his amazing qualities- He is infinite goodness!

Here’s the awesome part, Genesis 1:27 says, “God created man in His image, in the image of God He created him.” If YOU were made in his image and his likeness, then these attributes we just listed are yours, too!

The TRUE you is strong, merciful, humble, loving, purposeful, patient, secure, wise, joyful, peaceful.

Oh, do you see yourself this way? Do you see yourself this way?

 

The other side of us

Let’s talk about our sins. If we were to rattle off some sins, our list could be:

Impatient, jealous, prideful, controlling, judgmental, stubborn, envious, angry, hopeless, or complaining.

Nowhere in Scripture does it say that you ARE your sins. Jesus took our sins upon himself to free us and reconcile us with the Father. He became our sin, but we never are defined by our sins. We are and always will be through our adoption- a beautiful daughter of a loving Father.

You have choices to make, many times a day. Will you chose your true self? When you chose your true self- that’s the path to holiness. It’s how we let God know we love him.

When He looks at you, He sees a reflection of Jesus in you. All those God attributes…that’s what He sees in you! Isn’t that amazing? When He sees you, He sees a good woman that was made good. He sees your generosity, your strength, your forgiveness, your purposefulness, your peace, your joy. That’s who he sees.

We are all a unique reflection of him in this way. When you think about what we have to offer our Lord, it’s literally nothing. I’m even a gift to myself! Every day when we have a decision to make on how we’re going to react to something. We can choose to reflect who God created us to be, like Him, or we accept otherwise.

When you opt for sin, you already know that you are betraying God. But have you ever considered that you are betraying yourself, too? Have you ever thought about that? It’s a personal betrayal. When we go to confession, we say, “Lord, I’m sorry that I harmed our relationship. I even turned away from who you made me be. I want you to ask for forgiveness for this.” We are forgiven!

I offer you one additional step, sisters.

It’s a great next step to ask yourself for forgiveness for betraying who he made. Putting our focus on maintaining our relationship with God and on our identity is like a rain that pushes out impurities. I’m hoping this is a fundamental shift in how you see yourself, how you see your decisions.

How does it apply to your everyday life? 

What does it mean to live from this truth? I’ll give you an example which you can appreciate. I was with my 11-year-old daughter when we saw a woman that was walking across a parking lot. I know the woman very well. There have been times I’ve been jealous of her. Absolutely. It looks like she has it all together. She’s the quintessential “perfect woman.” My daughter innocently suggests, “She looks just like you, but way younger.” Well, truth be told, she’s my age. I was thinking. I can either go with the temptation to be jealous, go online and buy a hundred dollars in face serum, and rev up my judgmental attitude or not. Right at that moment, I had a choice, and I’m going to tell you honestly, a few years ago, I would have opted for the pity-party and not thought twice. It would have ruined the rest of my day( if not two or three days). The record of lies playing in my head, “I’m not good enough. I’m not beautiful. I’m not as successful. I’m not, I’m not. I’m not.” I had a decision to make. I’m sitting there in the car, thinking, “Oh, I have a decision to make.”

I chose to see myself as the beautiful daughter of a loving Father. Our Lord was so happy that I decided to see myself in who he made, not comparing myself to anyone else.

My mother said to me maybe six months ago, “I have noticed that you are much more patient than you used to be.” People start to see the difference. They begin to see what’s going on. “She’s living more joy.” Like the things that used to bother her aren’t bothering her as much anymore. We start to think more of others and have more compassion because you can relate so much.

It’s about transformation. It’s about allowing God to show you the areas that he wants you to see more clearly. We cannot do this work on our own. It can only be accomplished with grace. We are to relax into the Father’s arms and allow Him just to speak the truth to us. That’s all we’re doing. You’re allowing Him to tell you who you are.

There are two main ways that we can start to build our identity.

  1. One is that we have to hear it directly from Him. No more reading books about it. No more of that. The idea is you ask him directly and wait for the answer. He will answer you, and it’s the most life-changing, transforming experience you’ll ever have. You just have to wait for the response. He’s quick! How does it come? It comes in all kinds of different ways. He can tell you; he can show you something, you can see how someone responds to you in a particular way. You look for it and anticipate His response.
  2. The second easiest thing is choosing to live according to your true identity. You’re just opting for reality. Just say yes to who you are! I’m going to choose to be humbler. I’m going to choose to be more joyful. It’s the smallest decision, but yet sometimes it can feel the biggest. That’s a smokescreen of the enemy.

How are you doing?

What’s happening in your heart right now?

Pray with this beautiful video!

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: catholic, healing, identity, who am i

April 4, 2020 By Melissa Foley Leave a Comment

The Relationship God has Always Wanted with You

 

 

Out of all the images in that video, which one makes your heart flutter?

 

Oh, How the Son Received!

How evident is the love of the Father for his son in this story! The son allowed himself to be completely receptive, trusting in what the Father would do for him.

He allowed himself to participate in and receive the love of his Father.

It’s in the receptive disposition that our hearts function the best because what we need, we cannot create on our own. It’s impossible. We must receive it.

Many of us have not had any experience of such trust with our earthly fathers. My parents divorced when by the time I was five, my dad was an alcoholic and died an alcoholic, and he was someone that never really was able to live in his identity, his true identity. There was no one there to tell him who he was as a son of the Father. You likely know people who are not living in their full identity. How can we apply what we are experiencing in living in the new identity we found in Christ and give it to those we love, the people we meet, to the world? I think about it sometimes, question God even, why didn’t you send someone into my dad’s life to tell him the truth, to reveal his true self, to find freedom. Jesus typically reminds me that he did but that my dad needed to be able to receive the message. If only my dad could have placed himself in the wheelchair and allowed God the Father to run with him.

Now, I know. I have the gift of knowing my true identity, and it’s become my mission to share with anyone who will listen.

You are a beautiful daughter of a loving Father!

What if, in all your interactions with people, you were to share a glimpse of knowing who you are as God’s child? What if you treated others as a child of God? The act of living from this truth has the potential to change a person.

The deeper you go into understanding and receiving who you are, it changes how people perceive you.

“One of the most formidable obstacles to the conversion of a soul is the fact that God is a hidden God: Deus absconditus. But God, in His goodness, reveals Himself, in a certain manner, through His saints, and even through fervent souls. In this way, the supernatural filters through and becomes visible to the faithful, who are thus able to apprehend something of the mystery of God . . . make no mistake, there is a sort of instinct by which souls, without clearly defining what it is they sense, are aware of this radiation of the supernatural.”

 — Dom Jean-Baptist Chautard, p. 124-5, AN EXCERPT FROM Soul of the Apostolate

I love that quote so much because it is the absolute truth. When you live from this space of knowing who you are, it changes how you live. It changes how you talk. It changes the decisions that you make. It opens up a space in you that people can access God. Wow! People can access God in you.

A healthy identity comes from understanding the truth about ourselves. Our deepest yearning is to know where we came from and our purpose for which we remain.

Sadly, my experience has also shown that many parents do not have the answers to the question, “Who am I?” I don’t know about you. I didn’t necessarily grow up knowing all of this about who I am at all- it came much later in my life. What if you can be this instrument that impacts souls? What if He sends you out to tell people the truth about His love?

Basketball

My daughter, Clare, who’s nine, was on a horrible basketball team. They lost every game, tragically, like two to 50. So bad. One day, she was playing in the last match of a tournament. Parents and kids arrived at the gym for the last torturous game. Clare and I had prayed before entering because it was crucial to her that she wins at least one game. I found myself seated on the bleachers watching Clare warm up. A player’s mother walks by me with her daughter, and she sadly said to me, “Well, we are going to lose another game.” I told her that Clare and I prayed for a great game that morning. The mom stopped, and she turned and looked at me, surprised, and replied, “But God doesn’t care about a silly basketball game.” Oh, you know, I couldn’t help myself! I relayed my experience with God. I told her that He genuinely cares about our daughters-even the smallest details concern Him.”

When you speak into someone’s identity- you see tremendous thirst. The mother was a little stunned. She stood there and listened as I continued, “God loves your daughter so much. He cares about how she feels about her basketball game. .”

She sat down on the bleachers quietly facing toward the court. When someone speaks the truth about who God is and how He loves you, it takes a minute for them to process. Because if that is true, if God cares about me and what’s on my heart, then my paradigm has to shift. If he cares about some “little thing,” like my daughter’s basketball game, then what about me? What about big things? And that’s when you start to see the wheels turning.

My Sister is Better Than Me

Last week, I was with a friend who received a call from her mother. The conversation didn’t go well; my friend’s “button got pushed.” Go figure! Her mother compared her to her sister and look out! A hurt part of my friend flared. The old lies: I am not as good as my sister; my sister is always smarter, always better. My sister is more successful.

As my friend’s rant of lies spilled out of her heart, I gently remind her that those are lies designed by the enemy to steal your identity. You are a beautiful daughter of a loving FAther. He made you with precision. No part of you is an accident. Comparing yourself to your sister will suck the life out of you completely. How can we focus on who God says you are?

His Love Waffles

Another time I was praying with a seventeen-year-old girl when I asked her, “How close are you to Jesus?

She whispered, “I’m not that close. I keep them over there.” Signing with her arm that He was a great distance away.

I offered, “Why don’t you invite him closer?”

“If he gets too close to me, he will see what a mess I am,” she offered with clarity.

I invited her to tell me some of the attributes of God. “Tell me what is he like for you?”

Quickly, she believed, “When I do good things, he loves me more. And when I do bad things, he loves me less.”

“So, you’re saying that His love for you can fluctuate.”

“Oh yeah, it does,” she insisted.

“What I’ve experienced about God’s love is that His love for you is constant. He’s all in all the time. He loves you no matter what you do.”

The concept was so foreign to her that she admitted, “I don’t think I understand what you’re saying.”

“The way you describe God sounds like human attributes. Do you know someone in your life that loves you more when you do a good job and less when you do poorly?”

“Yeah, my parents.”

“Yes, you may experience love like that from your parents. But that’s not who God is. He’s not like that at all. He never was withdrawals love from you. Ever! He loves you because you are his daughter, he chose you. You are loved because of who you ARE, not what you do.

Visibly stunned, she ruminated, “He loves me all the time, no matter what?”

“Yes! His love for you is constant, and there’s nothing you can do to take it away.”

The sweet girl sat that a solid three minutes in silence. You could hear the old structures breaking down and new ones forming by the grace of the Holy Spirit. Wow!

Suddenly, she stood up with confidence, “That just, that just changed my life.”

In one quick conversation, you can change someone’s life! You’ll be surprised.

These little things people say about who they are or about who God becomes a divine invitation for you to walk right on in there. Don’t hesitate.

 

Made Good

I overheard my mom tell my daughters that they did an excellent job painting. They both turned to her and said, “Grammy, we were made good!” Of course, my mom looks at me and rolls her eyes.

But my girls are learning a valuable truth. It’s not you do that makes you good. My husband and I are intentionally parenting them so that they grow up feeling secure about God’s love- no matter what they do. Sure, they will have to suffer the consequences of their mistakes; we all do. But the security in knowing that they can return to a loving Father is essential to their faith and continued conversion. The closer we are to someone, sometimes, the more influence we have. We can build deeper relationships, but sometimes it doesn’t even take a long-term relationship where God has a divine invitation for you.

Shaving Ham

I was at the deli counter, and the lady shaving my pound of ham says to me, “I haven’t had a break all day.”

It was late in the afternoon, so my heart went out to her, “Wow, that must be hard. Have you had a long day?”

She continued, “They don’t have enough people back here, and I’m not getting enough breaks, and this is just really hard.”

“It sounds like you’re not feeling very appreciated.”

“No, I’m not very appreciated.”

“I appreciate you. Look, you’re serving me beautifully.”

She continued to work on my order silently. As she handed me the package of ham, she said with sincerity, “I’m just so glad you talked to me today. You really helped me.”

 

Divine Invitations

Listening to the spirit and waiting for divine invitations is a new disposition. God will use you every day to express to people about His love for them. People are starving. They’re thirsty for the truth about who they are.

You can think about people walking around with this thought bubble that says, “Who am I? Someone, please, I beg you to tell me!” It’s part of our human condition.

When you agree with the truth that you are a child of God, you will be healed. That’s the receptivity, right?

“Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of – throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.”

― C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

Allow God to break down some of those protective structures in you. The structures that you thought would keep you safe. People in your life who were not living in their true identity may have hurt you, so you build structures and coping mechanisms to protect yourself. Jesus comes to you and invites you to a new way, “My daughter, you don’t need this here. You don’t need that there.” He starts disassembling YOUR house to rebuild you on a firm foundation of who He is and who we are in Him!

How are you doing?

What’s one way you can live in your identity?

 

Filed Under: Uncategorized

March 1, 2020 By lovedalready Leave a Comment

Bobcats and Jesus

Our yard is a mess! We hired a landscaper to install a new sprinkler system and replace our old worn-out yard with new sod. For days, we’ve had landscapers here trenching, digging, flattening, and moving dirt. 

The variety of small machinery and busyness around our house caught the attention of a little, eight-year-old neighbor boy. About two days ago, the landscaper and my husband were outside talking about the details of the renovation, when they noticed a little boy standing on the other side of the road. He was wearing work boots, camo pants, and gloves. Our landscaper, Brad, called out to the boy, “You wanna work?” The boy responded with a bright-eyed nod. Brad expanded his team to include this boy in the work, even paying him a few dollars for a job well done. The boy moved sod around the yard, raked dirt piles, and sometimes even got to sit on the BobCat and pretend he’s like Brad.

This morning, as I watched the little, gloved boy hard at work, I asked God what He wants to show me. Immediately, He offered, “It’s like us, Melissa. I called you from across the street. I invited you to work with Me to fulfill My design for humanity. I’ve given you the tools you need, encouragement, and trust. I desire you. And, I even let you have some fun pretending that you are doing it!” 

Oh, my. Isn’t that true! 

One of the projects Our Lord asked me to work on is a small resource for families called Connected, How Strong Family Relationships Lead to Internet-Safe Kids. Writing Connected was like working in the yard with Jesus. I felt a bit like the little boy in my yard might have felt. I took the project very seriously, sweating over each word, wondering if I was good enough to do it. Ultimately, what I discovered was that God already had the design and I was just moving dirt from one pile to the next!

If you or someone you know may benefit from building stronger relationships in an effort to protect children from online dangers, you can get the free ebook here: 

https://www.covenanteyes.com/e-books/ 

I am grateful for any feedback you have when you read it!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

February 23, 2020 By lovedalready 2 Comments

God of Re-Dos

I’ve been in Dallas all week for a course on the Spiritual Exercises, and I’ve been praying for and thinking of you.

Our God is a God of re-dos. When we make a mistake or even sin, God is so generous to give us another chance to choose love. Have you noticed? 

I met a beautiful woman this week, a Sister. She confided in me that being a Sister is hard because people automatically think that she’s close to God, but she doesn’t feel close to him. One morning, years ago, as she sat by a lake with a cup of coffee in her hand, she asked God his name. To her utter shock he said, “Lover”. The thought of such intimacy scared her and for the next few years, she hid from Him. During this course, God gave her a re-do!

One of the night activities was a special Holy Hour where we were invited to accompany Christ on the Cross. The chapel lights were low, and many candles lit near the altar. There was a bowl of large nails and a bunch of roses. We were invited to take a nail to represent our accompaniment of Christ and a white or red rose to represent His fidelity and accompaniment of us. I noticed after we returned to the conference room to discuss our experience, that Sister had two roses, one red and one white. I quietly whispered in her ear, “Sister, only a Lover would give you both roses.” She smiled sheepishly. We talked about how the white rose is used in weddings and the red rose is a symbol of passionate love. It was her re-do! Will she receive the roses from her Lover?

The recommendation that we do an Examen each night gives us the opportunity to consider a moment that needs a re-do. Consider how you might act differently and ask God to give you the chance for a re-do! 

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February 16, 2020 By lovedalready Leave a Comment

Exhilarating Wisdom

You won’t believe what happened to me this week! Our last monthly retreat focused on wisdom as a primary gift of the Holy Spirit, and wooo-weee did the Holy Spirit show up. 

At the gym where I work out regularly, there’s a young father. We’ve never really talked to each other, just a warm hello each day. Surprisingly, one day, the Holy Spirit showed me that this young man was crying and praying fervently for something. I could feel God’s tender love and joy for him. I could feel how proud God is of him and his prayer. When something like this happens to me, I will always ask Our Lord what he wants me to do with this information. Sometimes I’m to pray for the person, and sometimes I have to act. Well, He was clear with me that he wanted me to tell the young man about God’s heart for him. UGH! Trust me; I did not want to do this. How awkward! I pleaded with God and told Him, “this isn’t a good idea,” “please, no,” and “I don’t even know the guy!”

As I was working out the next day, the young man was there too. The entire time I begged God not to make me do it, and at the end of the session, I chickened out.

I didn’t return to the gym for a week. My family was traveling to LA for a baptism and forgot about my small mission. But upon my return to the gym the following Monday, the Spirit was very serious. “Today is the day,” He told me. I couldn’t let Him down this time. So, after we worked out, I waited for the young father to be alone and approached him with the message of God’s love, how proud God is of him, that God is in control, and whatever he’s praying for God is taking care. I told the guy that I didn’t even know if he prayed and that I’m just delivering a message. He stood there with his mouth open in what looked like shock. He didn’t say a word to me. After a few uncomfortable seconds of silence, I turned around and ran to my car.

It’s been three weeks since that encounter with the young man, and he’s never said a word to me, until last Monday. After we finished working out, I noticed that he was hanging around, but didn’t think much of it. As I was leaving, he yelled out to me, “Any timeline on that answered prayer?” I stopped in my tracks, turned around, and approached him with curiosity. Standing in front of him I told him that I don’t have a timeline because God didn’t say anything about timing only that He knows what you are asking and He’s delighted. The young man responded with this:

“You need to know something. The day you told me God’s message, I went to my car and cried for fifteen minutes. That morning I had asked God to send me a human being to tell me that it was going to be ok, that He hears me. And then, you came up to me. You, a human being, told me that God knows and is taking care of the situation. You have no idea how much that means to me to know that I don’t have to be in control or do this myself. That God’s got this! 
Like, how did that happen? Does this happen to you often?”

Hahaha! Oh, the gift of wisdom! Isn’t it exhilarating to know that God allows us to help him? It’s just so fun!

My amazing sisters of prayer, would you please join me
in praying for the young dad? I’ll keep you posted!

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